If I could change past decisions in my life…


found on the internet, unsure who to credit it to

would I?   Would you?   A fellow blogger A Opinionated Man   http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/02/28/the-daily-opinion-the-past/ asked that very question this morning and rather than give a quick one sentence response, I told him his question was leading me to a new blog post which I will share with him sometime today or tonight.  Sorry it took me so long OM –My day got busy, but I did promise so here goes.

There are many small decisions, some of which I probably have even forgotten, that I don’t know if I would change or not. They may have had an effect on my life, sure, but how much would they really matter?  Am I sorry I quit high school to get married and have children? Yes about the quitting high school part, but I did go back to school and get my high school diploma several years later and started taking college classes part time. And eventually through several starts and stops due to work and raising kids, etc. I finally took a year and went back full time and did graduate with an associate degree at age 49. My point is, good or bad decision, it did work itself out to something positive and I would not trade the time with my kids for anything in the world.

The biggest decisions in my life are more difficult to decide upon.   The first was my decision to get married at a young age and start a family right away.  18 years old is way too young to be a wife and mother and to even really know what love really is.  If I had the knowledge then that I have now, I probably would have made a different decision, but since I did not, what is the sense of spending my time saying what if?   I soon knew that  my decision was not the best I could have made, but the positives from that bad decision culminated in my giving birth to three wonderful children and two of them have blessed me with a granddaughter.  I would never trade any of that in for anything so no, I would not change that decision,

30 years of marriage later, I made another huge decision in my life–to divorce. That was a tough decision to make, given my feelings about marriage being for life, but balancing that with my safety and sanity, I chose the latter.  Am I sorry about it?   No.   It was a smart move on my part.  I grew a lot when I was out on my own for the first time in my adult life, with nobody to rely on except for myself.

Since that time I have made many other decisions which resulted in many changes and much growth in my life and for the most part I would not change them.  A couple of smaller ones-yes, I would change, especially one not so small decision that cost me a very special friendship and that I still pray about.   The one big regret I had in my life from my decisions was that I was living almost halfway across the country (in Texas) when my eldest son took his own life.  For a long time I thought if only I had stayed in CT where he lived, maybe I could have stopped him.   I have come to terms with that in knowing that in reality I could not have done anything to stop him–nobody could.  Sadly, it was a decision he made and I will never know exactly why until I meet him again one day in heaven.

Fortunately now I have a growing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and through that relationship I am not trying to lean on just me in my decisions, but I lean on the Lord.  I take my problems to Him in prayer and He leads and directs my paths -as long as I let him.   Being human, there are those times when i decide I can do better and get an answer more quickly-Not True!!    As it says in the Bible, in Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.   A verse I try very hard to remember!

So would I change any of my decisions?  No, I am guessing I would not.  Everything was decided for a reason and in everything, good or bad, a lesson was learned and I grew and matured.     How about you?

30 thoughts on “If I could change past decisions in my life…

  1. There are many things that I wish I had not done or did differently! But when it comes down to it though, I believe everything happens for a reason! I always try to find good in the bad! It makes me a stronger person and from it I learned a lot! It made me what I’m today! It doesn’t mean that I’m perfect in my life and have no problems, but problems made me who I’m today! And yes, God is always there with me to support! He holds my hands whenever I fall! He is there to help me with my problems!
    Great post dear! I really respect you a lot my friend! God bless you abundantly!

    • Thank you so much! I like what you had to say about your own feelings of decisions. I agree with you for sure! God bless you as well my friend! Your comments on my posts perk up my day!

  2. Thank you for sharing this today! I hold on tightly to Romans 8:28- all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose. I think He uses all things- even some of the stupid decisions I made on my own accord (without praying or asking for His guidance) to strengthen us and grow us. I am not proud of all the decisions l have made in my life, but I thought at the time they were the right ones. I am thankful for His grace and would not change a thing because it has brought me to where I am today! Blessings to you!

  3. In hindsight, I wouldn’t have eaten that Dairy Queen Blizzard right before bedtime last night. Otherwise, I’m pretty happy with how things have turned out.

    • lol I have had regrets like that too, but it tasted wonderful going down, right? What flavor was it? thanks for the like and the response! What a blessing. 🙂

  4. I do not like playing “what if”. I never have. Things are what they are. You can’t change the past, Still, the past sometimes haunts me. I take that road sometimes (too often) back and it never takes me anywhere new. And it never opens up to any new roads, either. It’s just the same one-way dead end. That being said, I regret not accepting Jesus Christ as my savior MUCH sooner in my life. Many things would have been different, had I been living for the Lord in my 20s, and 30s! Then again, though, He is sovereign, and no matter my own free will to accept or reject Him, this is all His plan. I can’t understand it, and I have no idea “what if”!

  5. I have thought about this many times. I have come to the point of being thankful for the decisions I’ve made that have brought me pain. Without them, I would not be where I am today. I learned to let go and trust fully in God and without the devastation in my life, that would never have happened and I would not change it for the world. However, there have been decisions I have made that were wrong and caused pain to others. I would change them, if I could. But I cannot, so I accept His grace and I have learned through all of this – to give grace to others.

  6. I have a lot of what if’s I wonder about from time to time. Like what if I hadn’t been so apathetic about college and lost my scholarship or what if I hadn’t left a job I enjoyed even though it didn’t pay a whole lot to go chase the money. I learned a lot from all those what if situations and that I wouldn’t change. They’ve made me into the person I am today and truthfully I don’t believe I’m any worse off than I would have been if I hadn’t made those decisions.

  7. This post was really reflective of the thoughts that had been going through my mind. In fact I had blogged about decisions very recently too. I guess you are who you are because of your decisions, and you can never step away from God’s good plans for you. So yes, like you, I won’t change my decisions too.. But am learning from bad ones so I don’t make the same mistakes again.

    It’s great food for thought!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my post! I appreciate it! That is the trick–learning from the bad decisions and not repeating them. That is what God wants from us as well.

  8. There you are! I have missed you! I like your response–short, sweet and to the point. It seems to be the consensus of those of us who have a relationship with the Lord, that we basically would not change anything, despite the pain, because of what our heavenly Father has taught us and how He has used our bad decisions and mistakes to draw us closer and closer to Him. Praise The Lord!

    hope the birthday girl had a lovely celebration of being 9 and that your weekend was perfect. 🙂 Hugs to you and the kids!

  9. If you could go back in time and change the decision you made at that point, you wouldn’t eventually become/or be the person you are nowadays, right?:)

  10. Yes i totally agree with you. All the decisions and mistakes i’ve made up till now have led me to where i am now. While i think i should have been a better person much much earlier, i needed to make those mistakes to learn how. I’m still making mistakes now, only they’re new ones! 🙂

  11. The flaw in the “What If?” game is that we view the potential outcome based on how we feel in this moment.
    Am I happy? Then I look back and I am glad I chose the way I did, because who knows what might have happened if I’d gone a different way.
    Am I frustrated? Then I look back and the “what if” seems more desirable. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess.
    But we have no way of knowing. Choices and consequences aren’t all separated into nice tidy bundles where we could flip a switch and only affect that one decision. Changing course so many years ago would change our entire lives from that point on, and who’s to say what all the unintended consequences would be?
    Better by far to play “What now?” and determine how best to take advantage of the opportunities and blessings I have. What am I going to do with the day I’ve been given?
    I don’t want to waste it… or else I’ll be tempted to look back and say, “What if I had done something meaningful instead?” 😀

  12. I would say… I am grateful for the decisions and choices I made along my journey, from a certain perspective many of them were not perhaps the best and some even outright ugly. I can say however that they are all beautiful and necessary to being who I am and have shaped me and will continue to do so as I with the grace of our creator live and travel this beautiful journey. At times as I have gone through some of the experiences even like your own divorce, for example my thoughts at times were not so beautiful and filled with love yet in the end it was and is all love. I am grateful for my choices good, bad and ugly as they bring me to new places and introduce me to new people and even more beautiful things. I am grateful for the gifts and beauty are much more appreciated and sen that if I had lived someone elses version of a perfect life would have been stealing from my own.
    Thank you for sharing such a thought provoking question.. And thank you for sharing your heart and heartfelt story.. Joe

    • Joe, thank you for taking the time to read and comment in this post. I appreciate it so very much! I like what you had to say, especially about taking away from your own life if you lived someone else’s version of the perfect life. As I always told my children, we each need to strive to be the best we can be as an individual, not the best mimic of anyone else. That means making mistakes sometimes, yes, but it teaches us and molds us.

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