11 years ago, November 26, 2002, was the worst day a parent can ever experience. That is the day I lost my oldest son Joey. I am thankful that through that awful time and the years since, the Lord has been there every minute, even when I forgot he was there.
Several months before the 10th anniversary of Joe’s death, I started to think about that impending anniversary and other things in my life, feeling very downhearted, lonely and worried about many things. I was just having an ongoing, one person, pity party. I felt like life was flying by but nothing positive was happening in my life, with the exception of the process of my weight loss. That never suffered and I can say it was the Lord’s doing, not mine.
I prayed a few times, asking the Lord for help, but then in my silly human condition, I would take back the request, figuring I could do things better and faster on my own. NOT! It doesn’t work that way!
I am so thankful God never gave up on me. He is such a patient God. He waited for me to come to him again and again. He heard all of my prayers and he continually put people on my path–people who I could relate to and share with, as they shared things with me. We were and are able to be an encouragement to each other. Some of those have become close friends and are a blessing to me.
In the spring of this year, the Lord put it on my heart that I needed to talk with someone about my feelings and He led me to speak with my pastor’s wife and ask for prayer. We met a few times and that led to taking part in a Bible study, to my spending more time in His word, (though I could do a lot more of that). My walk with Him is growing stronger all the time. I have slowly started to become more involved with things in church and loving every minute of it, wanting to be here.
Through this time of growth, I have developed a new hobby—blogging! Yes me, really! I never felt I had anything worthwhile to say, was not good enough to write anything of interest to anyone; not wise enough to have anything of real value to offer. I’m not writing as much as I would like to and still dealing somewhat with those old feelings but a few things I have written have actually gotten responses from others and I have developed a small group of followers. What a wonderful God we have! He is so full of surprises! I never thought I could see this happening in my life, that I could be an encouragement to others suffering through different hardships.
When I originally wrote a blog post last month with some of these feelings I noted that the journal page where I first wrote in longhand had a quote by an unknown person that I thought was so fitting to the situation “Within each of us, just waiting to blossom, is the wonderful promise of all we can be.” I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in my future!
I also am so very thankful to the Lord that he is protecting my daughter and her husband. Last October they came close to being killed or seriously injured when a tree fell on their home while they slept, destroying the home and again this October, saved them when they were hit head on by another vehicle and I know he will continue to watch over them, though I did tell my daughter that she and hubby need to go live in a bubble next October!
There is so much in my life that I am thankful for, my family, my church family, my friends, my life in general, that I could go on forever but I will spare you all. 🙂
Wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving filled with the Lord’s blessings!